tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post115272231901626530..comments2023-04-12T03:54:03.032-07:00Comments on The Rambling Place: Is It Okay to Look for a Spouse?Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152809771091876762006-07-13T09:56:00.000-07:002006-07-13T09:56:00.000-07:00Hey Katie! I just wanted to let you know that I'm ...Hey Katie! I just wanted to let you know that I'm using a new blog for a while, due to many problems with my old one.Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04620579853081347104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152803742851839292006-07-13T08:15:00.000-07:002006-07-13T08:15:00.000-07:00Hi Melaney! Thanks for stopping by and sharing yo...Hi Melaney! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I think you boiled down the dilemma: finding someone who meets the qualifications but that you also like!Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152737915060369292006-07-12T13:58:00.000-07:002006-07-12T13:58:00.000-07:00We're certainly getting our laughs as well! :D I'm...We're certainly getting our laughs as well! :D I'm having many problems with our websites today and can't figure out why they won't work, so the laughter is a welcome relief! :)<BR/><BR/>But on the more serious side of things, I like hearing other people's perspectives on this, and I find it interesting we've been coming to the same conclusions at the same time. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152736760754430082006-07-12T13:39:00.000-07:002006-07-12T13:39:00.000-07:00Ok guys, I'm not sure my blog has ever suffered fr...Ok guys, I'm not sure my blog has ever suffered from this much nonsense, or this many comments on one post...but I'm loving every minute of it!Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152736009593495752006-07-12T13:26:00.000-07:002006-07-12T13:26:00.000-07:00If Lindsay keeps coming up with rhymes like that, ...If Lindsay keeps coming up with rhymes like that, a billboard may be in her future!<BR/><BR/>As a point of clarification: when I spoke of them finding a mate while out evangelizing, I meant they would find the mate among the people they were witnessing with, not to. We're hoping to avoid the whole drunk son-in-law issue. My point was they might find them anywhere...even at Walmart. If there's a good sale on them, I'll let ya know.<BR/><BR/>P.S. Can't imagine where Lindsay gets her silliness!?!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152735454081711752006-07-12T13:17:00.000-07:002006-07-12T13:17:00.000-07:00You just noticed? ;) "I don't suffer from insanity...You just noticed? ;) "I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!" That's one of my favorites. :)<BR/><BR/>Rachel suggested signs and billboards recently. One afternoon, she and Caroline were all over me about it. That's what I get for wanting to watch <I>Seven Brides for Seven Brothers</I> with them...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152735004919416742006-07-12T13:10:00.000-07:002006-07-12T13:10:00.000-07:00Lindsay, you're a nut! Warning: quote from Veggie...Lindsay, you're a nut! Warning: quote from Veggietales coming. "Stop being so silly!"<BR/><BR/>That's right, there will be no selling of daughters. I keeping teasing my parents, though, and telling them they might as well put a sign out on the mailbox that says, "Nice Girl Free to Good Home."Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152734443590123192006-07-12T13:00:00.000-07:002006-07-12T13:00:00.000-07:00I've objected against the camel issue as well. Tho...I've objected against the camel issue as well. <BR/>Though I compared finding a spouse to buying a house, <BR/>when I'm sought, I won't be bought. I'll be an old maid before someone is paid <BR/>to then hand me over so we can cross over <BR/>to some distant land full of camels and sand...<BR/><BR/>I'll stop now. :) After the line about a spouse and a house, I just had to keep up the rhyme for a bit. :D All that to say, I'm not for sale either.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152732382557442602006-07-12T12:26:00.000-07:002006-07-12T12:26:00.000-07:00Lora, I promise I didn't bug your couch! :-) Than...Lora, I promise I didn't bug your couch! :-) Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It was all great except for the camel part. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I AM NOT FOR SALE!<BR/><BR/>Methuselah, you're exactly right. So many areas of life require us to both trust God and work hard. It's sometimes a tricky balance.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152727927796883352006-07-12T11:12:00.000-07:002006-07-12T11:12:00.000-07:00You're really worrying me here...did you plant a b...You're really worrying me here...did you plant a bug on our couch when you came over?? Are you listening in on all of our conversations?! :-O <BR/><BR/>Seriously, you aren't crazy. After all the many talks Lindsay and I have had, I understand your thought process completely. <BR/><BR/>There are several things here that I haven't seen many, if any people discuss. It's EASY for me to say, "We're going the courtship route, keep all your feelings and emotions in check until you're 50 and everything will work out just fine." That's easy to say because I've never done it. I certainly don't have all the answers, and I do trust that God will put the right man in our daughters paths (I have to go through this 4 times!!!). Maybe they will trip over them somewhere, or they may meet them while out evangelizing. I don't know how God will work it all out. There are only a few things I'm positive on.<BR/>1)We shouldn't change our convictions in the "hopes" that they might meet the "one".<BR/>2)God is in control of this.<BR/>3)There is no perfect plan or method.<BR/>4)As the parent of many daughters, I can only do my best to follow the path I think the Lord has laid out for our family, so I need to lean on Him constantly.<BR/>5)There is no perfect guy out there. They all have flaws, though you may not see them at first, they're there just waiting to pop out. The funny thing is, you usually start to see them about a week after you're married.<BR/><BR/>You are also right about just having to make it work. Making it work is a choice. Ya know...murder before divorce;-)Really, it's a decision you have to make and work to stick to it. ALL marriages are going to hit bumpy parts, that's part of life. But when you know there is no option but to work something out, that's what you do. <BR/><BR/>Another area there seems to be some problems with is young people not being allowed to be young people. With many "courtship" families, normal interaction is difficult at best. I feel that it's important for my girls to look at boys as people... yes, they really are people, not some strange sub-species from Mars. And the same is true of girls; they are not some Victorian, frilly, silly, swooning species(though, some would promote them acting as such). They should be approachable, friendly and outgoing, showing respect to young men, but also being able to talk and joke with them without the fear of what others would think. Sadly, this is not the case often when around others of the "courtship" thought. They see danger around every corner and even the slightest thing will cause them a great deal of concern. <BR/>As much as I'm for courtship, I'm also about stepping back and letting God work things out. If we are constantly putting our hands in it, by restraining our adults' actions, how will God be able to work? Maybe His timing is different from ours, and what we think is "perfect" isn't what He deems perfect. I have seen the lists of requirements that some people have for future son-in-laws, and honestly, if they ever find someone to fit that list, I'll be surprised! I have heard of how some men have to jump through hoops to get "approved" and I think it's sad. <BR/><BR/>I think that there needs to be parental involvement, but some take that too far. The young man should be allowed to act as such. Going to the girl's father alone and then talking to the girl alone. There shouldn't be a parents conference to work out all of the details; this isn't a business merger. <BR/><BR/>This is how I would like for it to work out in our cases: <BR/><BR/>1. Boys likes girl; girl likes boy.<BR/>2. Boy approaches dad and talks to him about Girl. (even though it will be tough to be on the outside of this, I think that's where I should be. I trust Gene's ability in this completely)<BR/>3)Boy approaches Girl(I think this should be a sweet, romantic thing between just the two of them)<BR/>4)Boy and Girl go to parents and family and share their "story".<BR/>5)Everyone meet to work out any details.<BR/><BR/>This may or may not be how God works it out, and yes, many variables are missing. But it's the plan we have for now. Though being the parent of daughters I have less control over how the events play out. <BR/><BR/>These are just my thoughts; I know my plan isn't perfect, and it may work out completely different from this, but at least it's a place to start. And if this doesn't work out, I heard Tara H's parents were offered some camels for her by a sheik; maybe we could go that route. Though I don't know what I'd do with 50 camels.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152725207405836352006-07-12T10:26:00.000-07:002006-07-12T10:26:00.000-07:00Watch out world! Wannabe housewives are on the lo...Watch out world! Wannabe housewives are on the loose!Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152724964360048712006-07-12T10:22:00.000-07:002006-07-12T10:22:00.000-07:00I actually started a whole thread about it at HSA....I actually started a whole thread about it at HSA. :) <BR/><BR/>Ruth is another example I've been thinking about. If the first husband was "the one" for her, why was she led to Boaz? And I don't think Boaz was "the one" for her, because she met and married him because of her first mother-in-law, so without the first marriage, that may never have happened. So which was "the one" for her?<BR/><BR/>And I sent the link to your blog to a friend of mine I've been talking all this over with. It's funny, because she was thinking along the exact same lines before I brought it up to her, then you posted the same thing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152724159158868792006-07-12T10:09:00.000-07:002006-07-12T10:09:00.000-07:00That's interesting that you've been thinking about...That's interesting that you've been thinking about it too! Your comments remind of something I heard once that really had a profound effect on me: "Don't be paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake."Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178794884945647000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10733344.post-1152723917915857002006-07-12T10:05:00.000-07:002006-07-12T10:05:00.000-07:00It's really amazing how much all you just said fit...It's really amazing how much all you just said fits what I've been thinking lately. I voiced many of those same thoughts to my mom the other night. <BR/><BR/>I've been coming to believe that we really don't need to be so hung up on having to be sure we find(or wait for) "the one" who's out there somewhere in the world, but rather that there is a handful of people that could be compatible. I've been coming to see how much this mentality of "the one" has really made things much harder for me. It's like I was just so afraid of somehow messing things up: what if I thought someone was "the one", when really "the one" was somewhere else out there and I hadn't met him yet? How will I know if he's "the one" or if someone else just as good is actually "the one"? What if I mess things up by becoming interested in one guy, when he's not "the one" and "the one" is still out there and I haven't met him? What then? Would I be completely messing things up for us both?<BR/><BR/>And I don't think looking for a spouse is a bad thing either. I can't find anything Biblical against it. If you knew you were going to be moving and you needed a house and you didn't know of any to buy, you would go out looking for one, not just wait until one fell in your lap. That would be silly. Likewise, if someone doesn't know of anyone they could marry, why not look?<BR/><BR/>I do find it amusing when people talk about the "Biblical standards" for courtship or betrothal, because of those couples you mentioned. The Biblical examples are certainly interesting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com