Wednesday, August 02, 2006

A Few Things I've Learned In My Life

  • You should turn away from the birthday cake when you blow out the match.
  • Roller coasters make me sick.
  • Wearing flip-flops in thorny grass is a bad idea.
  • Airport security x-ray machines confuse ipods.
  • Soft drinks make me feel bloated.
  • In movies: sword fights-good; gun fights-bad.
  • When dancing, focusing steadily on your partner’s nose prevents dizziness. (The eyes work too, but that has a tendency to induce blushing.)
  • Long, full skirts do not coordinate well with wheeled office chairs.
  • The later you have lunch, the faster the afternoon goes by.
  • Jumping in piles of dry leaves is a temporary pleasure followed by great sorrow if you have long hair.
  • The gas gauge in my car shows empty when it still has two or three gallons left.
  • I can go almost a hundred miles on three gallons of gas.
  • You don’t sweat as much when you ride a bicycle as when you walk.
  • Restarting cures many computer problems.
  • It’s tough to eat an ice cream cone while driving a stick shift car.
  • I’m not obligated to finish every book I start.
  • None of the cut-an-onion-without-crying tricks work.

3 comments:

Lora K. said...

Have you tried this cutting the onion trick. A friend of mine did this with her girls and said it worked every time...though you do look rather silly. And the magical cure is..... wear swimming goggles while cutting the onions. Do I do it? No, everyone would laugh at me, and I'd be crying from laughter...so what's the use?

Katie said...

See? None of them work.

Lindsay said...

I think Mama should try it so she can see if it really does work.