I've had an epiphany.
It occured to me the other day that this is what I think: Anyone who thinks something I do is wrong is legalistic, and anyone who does something I think is wrong is ungodly.
Wait a minute!! This isn't right! How can I think that only people who live exactly as I do are right? Am I really so arrogant to think I have some kind of a corner on righteous living? Wow, it's startling to be so vividly reminded of my pride.
I'm still pondering how to get out of this way of thinking. It probably comes down to discernment. Some differences between myself and others should be accepted with joy as a reminder of the various ways God has created us humans. Other differences should just be set aside because they aren't important enough to affect the relationship. Then there are things that can be opportunities for discipleship, in the right time. And once in a while, I have to avoid someone completely because of the truth in 1 Corinthians 15:33.
The tricky part is knowing which situations fit into which categories. For starters, I'm going to try to remember that I'm not the local expert on how to live, and my prayer is:
Lord, may I see the people around me as you see them.